Men, keep your women and children at home; women, beware because your men might not be who you think they are, and your children are in very serious danger of being up past thier bedtime. The threat is confirmed, my friends. Robot Zombies. Yes, you heard me. Robot Zombies. The Zombie King, has found a newer and cheaper way to subvert humanity: mass manufacture of robotic zombies that steal children, seduce women, and emasculate men.
There is a genuine danger here, my friends. These robotic zombies are not only stronger, faster, and smarter than the shambling, partially limbless zombies of yesteryear, but they are becoming increasingly capable of emulating human personalities, making it easier to subvert our world governments and topple them to install puppet regimes, in an effort to tame the human population and use them for livestock, keeping the Zombie King and his undead legions supplied with fresh brains for thier hedonistic rituals.
But there is one hope. First, you need to destroy all the electronics in your house, because without a fresh supply of Delta waves from a television set, or radiation from your microwave, or an easily accessible outlet, these robotic zombies will have nothing to feed off of. We must willingly push ourselves back to the stone age; this will force the real zombie legions from thier hiding places in the mountian caves and eventually draw the Zombie King himself out of his palace high in the Himalayas where he can be slain once and for all...
Someday, the battle will be over. I just hope this message reaches you all in time.
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