Saturday, November 05, 2005

The Fundamentals of proper penile care.

I never, ever want to lose my penis. There I said it, and I'm sure there's not a guy or girl out there that will begrudge this one simple wish. No matter what happens, when I die, I want to still have my penis.

As a corrollary wish, if ever someone makes a statue of me (and the likelyhood of this is high), and it's a nude statue (again, highly likely, given my Adonis-like physique), I want for my statue's penis to be made of something that's a little more resistant to cracking than marble. I mean...this is Apollo, for Chrissake! If he can't keep his penis through the ages, what hope is there for my statue? Unless! The newest space-age alloys are employed to make sure that if every other piece of my statue gets obliterated in a nuclear holocaust, at least my penis will make it out intact, with not a scratch.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You have a penis!!?
Well, I guess you had some sort of sex change, eh?
It's a shame how people want to change who they are, when their perfect in God's own eyes.