Monday, March 19, 2007

Little did she know....

Corpses have been popping up in some strange places lately. I want it made perfectly clear that this is not a trend in the direction of this commentary blog. And so, after this post, I promise to you, gentle readers, that I will not talk about strange corpse sightings for a while. Of course, being the Good Doctor that I am, I am free to break that promise if a really super juicy corpse-related story pops up again.

Also, I in no way advocate using Reuters as a primary news source. It's just one of the many RSS feeds that I check frequently. I just happen to like their comprehensive coverage of the ever expanding dilemma in America and abroad of corpse treatment.

The person in this article died just after takeoff. The article is poorly written and so it is difficult to discern exactly what happened. How was this man, apparently asleep in First Class not roused when the crew of the airplane were lugging a dead grandma down the aisle and then unceremoniously dumping her in the seat next to him, and then stuffing her in there with pillows so she wouldn't fall on the floor.

Whose decision was it to not just stuff granny in the bathroom and lock the door? Wouldn't that be better? Certainly not more dignified for the deceased, but definitely more tolerable to the poor bastard who woke up with a dead body next to him. Of course, there was the bereaved also on the plane. I mean, wow. This is absolutely amazing. There is literally nothing you can do when someone just up and dies on a plane in flight. Put yourself in the position of the stewardess or the captain that has to make the judgment call, "Uh...I don't know...maybe...strap granny to a chair and hope nobody notices. Put a pillow under her head, maybe people will think she's sleeping."

Sure, yeah, that will work. Imagine you're dozing there in your seat and the unthinkable happens: your neighbor, a complete stranger, rests his or her head on your shoulder in their sleep. Some people just deal with it and pretend it's not happening. Of course, there are those of us who will be like, "hey granny, um...I'm not comfortable with this... hello? Lady? You awake?...... um.... wake up...." You nudge her a few times, "Seriously, this isn't funny...." and then, "oh shit..." followed by you pushing the call button and then saying fuck this, "Stewardess!!! Um... I really think you should come over here..."

It's really just further proof that there are fewer and fewer real human tragedies in the world. And more and more comedies. Come on, admit it. You laughed.

Monday, March 05, 2007

It's alive! It's alive! No wait...sorry about that.

I know, I know, I know. The last post I did was also about something weird about death. And the last post was also about an article I read on Reuters Oddly Enough. But before you judge me, ask yourself this question: Who am I to judge what the Good Doctor does? There, don't you feel better?

This little gem popped up on Reuters RSS feed today. I find this stuff interesting, because I am endlessly fascinated by how people deal with death, grief, and such things as prospects for an afterlife.

The deal is, some people just can't quite get over death. Perhaps some people, even people who are religious, might understand intuitively that death is the end. If you don't have the psychological constitution to be okay with that, it's going to cause problems.

The fact that this guy was trying to cast a magic spell is really entertaining. He was Pakistani, so probably Muslim, I'm going to assume. But magic? Spells? And why'd he kidnap the guy that was sleeping in the cemetery? And why was there a guy sleeping in the cemetery?

I think he needed the guy as sort of a host body for his father's soul. That would make sense. He would be like a Lich's phylactery. Store the soul in a vagabond's body, drop the skeleton in some sort of nutrient rich solution, where it can feed and sort of be like a hive mind.

In fact, fracture the soul into several parts, and then like this dude's father will control lots of different bodies, while his rotting corpse serves as the center. Destroy the corpse completely, and you will vanquish the satanic army that he's slowly creating out of vagabonds and close family members.

Obviously the son is the first attempt at possession, and it hasn't taken hold well enough. He's coming off as crazy, which is problematic. The connection might not be strong enough. Like a cellphone with bad reception. And he's such an incompetent son that he even botched simplest reincarnation spell. Jesus, what a world we live in!