Monday, May 08, 2006

Get Down with the Sickness

Dear friends and readers, it has come to my attention that one of the things that we have not been doing, and should, in the interests of the greater good for all, infect more celebrities with life-threatening diseases and maladies.

Take Michael J. Fox, for example. He has Parkinson's Disease. If it wasn't for him, $74 million would not have been raised to help fight parkinson's disease and his own waning career.

Christopher Reeve, is another fine example. He is dead. There is another foundation set up to raise money to find a cure for, oh, I guess it's paralysis and not death.

I think the most important lesson we can learn from this, is that celebrities exist for only two purposes in the general scheme of things: 1) to entertain and titilate our senses with their "talents." and 2) to get horrible diseases that millions of people suffer from every day and get no special recognition, and then go on to raise ridiculous sums of money in the fight against that disease using their fame (their money maker) to fight the good fight against whatever.

The Good Doctor's prescription: Start infecting individual celebrities with all sorts of horrifying maladies (i.e.leprosy, kuru, and herpes, you know, all the really prevelant diseases facing Americans), in the hopes of finding swift and viable cures. Because it's only when the people that we love have those diseases that we're actually going to do something about it. And let's face it, the only people in this world worth loving, are the people in the highest income brackets with the easiest lifestyles: celebrities.

I hereby invite all of my readers to name a celebrity, and then a disease that said celebrity ought to be inflicted with, and then project the potential money that might be earned by their foundation. Put all suggestions in the comments section.

10 comments:

WETOOTWAAG said...

You always gotta go out on some rediculous theme, funny post, but then your negative comments about not caring about anything but celebrities.
well...
Dangit Kuha, that's just Hurtfull.

Now..
Apologize.

Dr Kuha said...

The Good Doctor loves all encompassed in his embrace. Especially Wee toot waag. But celebrities are worth so much more to society at large because they're so popular.

All I'm saying is that they're worth a lot more to us sick, than they are healthy

Puuda Maggui said...

I think we should infect Big Bird with Avian flu. That way, people will take it more serious when they see something from Sesame Street that's bad besides Mr. Hooper's death, or Elmo snorting cocaine with Oscar in the alley.
Only yhen, will the government work hard at preventing bird flu.

Froyd said...

John Goodman with the Ebola virus.


Not only would it raise roughly $28.3 million, but he's such a damned fine actor that it would be entertaining watching it.

Puuda Maggui said...

I also think Leonard Nemoy with radiation, but that happened in Star Trek II: Wrath of Kahn...damnit, I watched Star Trek!

Puuda Maggui said...

http://dosky.info/

Look for my own blog site this summer!
Until then, daze off into space and watch this...

Puuda Maggui said...

Hey Doc! I've decided I want to become a Free Mason!

Scottimus said...

-Mel Gibson
-death
-$0

Scottimus said...

The only flaw in your plan is if a celebrity gets some disease they will lose favor with the masses and we will find someone else to idolize. Sure you have the rare celebrity with a terminal disease that we find to be novel, but if it happened often it would get old.

Anonymous said...

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