Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Soap Cult?


Has anyone else seen this ad campaign? I'm beginning to wonder if something is really amiss in this world. I mean, well-known soap manufacturing companies are using tongue in cheek advertisements to recruit for a strange snake cult?

First of all, they hit people at their most vulnerable: when they are suffering from the guilt of a "questionable hookup," as they call it. Like, for instance, if you were caught by your friends doing the nasty with an old woman in a walker with electrodes connected to your taint. Obviously, this is pretty useful for anyone trying to start a cult. Many cults find new members by recruiting at colleges (i.e. the Giddeons and the US Military) and universities when young people are adrift, still trying to find their way in this world.

But this ad campaign is specifically targeted at people suffering from sexual guilt. This is morally reprehensible. There is nothing wrong with old ladies in walkers and electrodes. If that's what turns you on, and your friends make fun of you for it, then they shouldn't be your friends, because they are prudes and fascists.

I say to you, Order of the Serpentine: You can't have our nation's youth for your devilish rituals, and sweet-smelling soaps. Cease and desist, or the Good Doctor will come down on you with the full authority of his station!

37 comments:

roman said...

What a weird ad campaign. Obviously written by a meth addict.
I'm buying some Axe soap.

Froyd said...

that's kinda a dumb soap.

I'm glad that I'm zestfully clean!

Puuda Maggui said...

Yea,I was going to get some, but then I realized that alot of guys like to make love to jets in hot tubs. Thanks for letting everyone know that Dr. k :)

Kathleen said...

I guess that the order of the serpentine is out to kill anyone allergic to fragrance... aka me.

ryan said...

Come on guys, its just another ad to get young adolescents to think the will get a date if they buy this soap. ya i agree its kinda strange that their is some secret underground brotherhood that strongly worships a type of soap, but remeber, its just an ad. Also, if u really beleive it will get rid of shame and u use it, it might because u beleived in it so much that u thought it worked

Dr Kuha said...

Um....did you take that article too seriously? Or are you joking too?

ryan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ryan said...

Hi again,
Many of you have heard of the Order of the serpentine helping young adults releive the shame from a questionable hook up. Most of our recruitment videos are for adolescents or adults. Our newest video called "Serpee" is a cartoon video that is aimed more towars children. If you would like to view this video please go to http://orderoftheserpentine.com/subliminal.html
and select the video called Watch Serpee from the menu. We made the video for children because the Order of the Serpentine cares not just about teens and adults but children too. Join Us!
sincerley,
Ryan
Order of the Serpentine brother

Dr Kuha said...

Holy crap! Soil not the Good Doctor's Office with your slander!

Puuda Maggui said...

My eyes are burning from such blasphemy! Please help Doctor K!

ryan said...

Our new video appeals to the senses of young children with colorful animation. My brothers and I thought that the video would help young children understand the Order a little better, even though they might not have experienced the shame caused by a questionable hook-up yet. join us!

Ryan
Order of the Serpentine brother
Clean Body. Clean Conscience

Dr Kuha said...

I normally don't do this but...shut up tool.

Puuda Maggui said...

I think soap should leave the persuading of adolesence to having premarital sex to the O.C., Pamela Anderson, Trojan, The View, Ryan Seacrest, Paris Hilton, and Burger King.

ryan said...

Fellow brothers,
I bare excellent news, i have almost finished my journey to becoming The Shamless One (for those who dont know, its the highest rank in The Order) I only have to do a little more of my masters bidding and get more recruits to become it.
start your journey of becoming a recruit now at www.orderoftheserpentine.com.
Thank You. Join us!
Sincerely,
Ryan
Order of the Serpentine Master brother
Clean Body.Clean Conscience.

Puuda Maggui said...

I see that commercial is for children as women is for Clay Aiken. I mean, what kind of message is it sending to children? If you ever play around with conjoined-twins you should run into the jungle and take a shower under a fall so a dozen guys can watch?

Sorry, I'll save the soap in the box with the other adult play toys that I am saving for my kids when they are old enough...

ryan said...

Dear brothers,
My journey to being the Shamless one is almost done. I just need a few more recruits so if you like the good we do please sign to recruitment. I met with our council last night and our sales have double increased since our Serpee cartoon. Now children can experience our sacred soap. Well then, just dropped by to give the good news. Ive got to go, me and my fellow brothers are going to partake in a Snake Peel ritual in the secret Falls of the Shamless ones. After that, we shall praise and chant to the ancient Snake God, who has brought us the gift of shame soap.
Join us!
Sincerley
Ryan
Order of the Serpentine Master Brother
Clean Body. Clean Conscience.

Dr Kuha said...

Okay, seriously...this has got to stop. ANyone know of a way to block a specific user?

Puuda Maggui said...

I feel like peeing in the secret Falls of the Shamless ones. :(

ryan said...

My brothers Puuda Maggui and Dr, Kuha, why do you hate us so? We do no bad and help people almost every minute of the day. If you do not like the good we do, please keep your profanity to yourselves so others wont have to endure it.
Ryan
Order of the Serpentine Master Brother
Clean Body. Clean Conscience.

Puuda Maggui said...

yes'm

ryan said...

It is done!!!
I am now part of the Shamless ones! I now have the priveledge of serving in the council. Today, i am going to read the prophecy for a bunch of new recruits so they can know the roots and ways of our brotherhood. Thank you all for recruiting with us! I must leave you now, we are having a welcome ritual with the new recruits. I shall keep in contact with you all.
Join Us!
Sincerley,
Ryan
Order of the serpentine Shamless One
Clean Body. Clean Conscience.

Dr Kuha said...

Okay, okay, okay. I think, Ryan, that you're forgetting that this is my blog. I can slander and profane anyone and anything that I want here. And right now, I'm slandering you.

ryan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ryan said...

Well im sorry i forgot that but what i am asking is please do not verbally abuse my brotherhood in such a way. We are forbidden to use such words so i would appreciate if you did not use them around me. Anyways, being a shamless one j is difficult. You must bless and prepare rituals every morning at 5am and then you have to greeet all brothers that come to our secret caves. And finally, you have to live in the caves and sell your home and give the money to the council to use for certain expenses in the brotherhood. You have to do at least three hours of study a day and worship the Shamlesss Shaman and Snake God for a whole hour.
It is difficult, buut i appreciate my work at the templess and feel that a make a difference with my fellow brothers and my Gods. Well, all this work is getting to me and i am pretty tired, so i must be off to take a nap.
Sincerley,
ryan
Order fo the Serpentine shamless one.
Clean body. clean conscience.

Puuda Maggui said...

...

Puuda Maggui said...

About time for an update,huh Doc?

Dr Kuha said...

probably. But you can't imagine the horrifying hell that I've been through this week and continue to endure as I type this. Finals will be over soon, and regular updates will commence.

Puuda Maggui said...

Heh, I have a huge ass A.P. European Final to worry about this Friday. I have never hated Metternich so much after all the reading I have done today...

ryan said...

Brothers,
i know its been a while since i last spoke to you but times are rough. My brotherhood is going bankrupt and our money is being drained. Just last week almost 600 mebers retired the brotherhood because they went broke and are now living on the streets. Of course we took some of them in but a sacred cave can hold so many people. We wrote a letter to the government asking for a loan in finacial aid and have had many council meetings. We have had many donations and are very appreciative of them. Also, our soap sale are dropping and we have too much in stock of them. Me and my brothers pray every night to our Shaman and hope he will use his real power to guid us through this mess.
Ryan
Order of the Serpenmtine Shamless one.
Clean Body. Clean Conscience.

Puuda Maggui said...

Ryan reminds me of those Carrot Top commercials...funny at first and then they make you realize that he can't get girls even with his celebrity status. Plus, whether if he is Irish.

ryan said...

Of couse i can't get girls, it is forbidden as long as i live in the caves.

Puuda Maggui said...

Then what is the point of the soap then?

ryan said...

The purpose is to releive stress of young teenagers mostly caused by bad dates. I am near thirty and have no use for it at my age. I am a senior member so i have to take older and traditional rules as opposed to the younger members and their more laid back rules.
Ryan
Order of the Serpentine shamless one
Clean Body. Clean Conscience.

Rachel said...

Ryan, I hate to tell you but your "Brotherhood" is based on nothing more than hedonistic sexual rituals. Did you know in 2006, at Wakarusa, where your tailor truck was, and you were handing out flyers and samples, some (atleast one) of your "Brothers" was a cop, (he had the Order of the Serpentine Ring On) He arrested me and took me to an ambulance when we met up with 7 other men. They gave me thorazaine (an elephant tranqualizer) and molested and raped me. You are nothing more than spoiled rich kids who are getting decieced by Satan that there is more to life than there really is. One day I will try to forgive your brotherhood for their wrong doings. Because of the situation I had to be institutionalized for 22 days and now have to recieve Social Security because of my bi polar disorder, PTSD, and Pairanoia caused by your brotherhood. May you all see the error of your ways and ask God for forgiveness and live in the way of the truth and the light.

Dr Kuha said...

Um...I don't admit this very often, but I am really confused.

Rachel said...

I am sorry to bombard you with all this information. Please do not delete it. People need to know what this secret society is really up to. They pretend they are just some fictional fraternity, but they are just hedonistic loosers with nothing better to do then take advantage of women.

Dr Kuha said...

Far be it from me to judge your motives. Clearly you have a story. I am still confused. I mean... wow. Who knew that Axe, as a company that makes hygiene products would be so deeply involved in such a nefarious organization.